| My keys dangle and swing around my neck as I walk idly up the steps.
Some old lady struggles up the steps behind me. She seems to be working
hard enough, I should hold the door open for her. Slowly, with aging
shivers, she drags herself past me, without even looking to her side.
Well you're welcome.
I'm
lucky my apartment is on the first floor, my long legs don't really
take me anywhere. I sigh as I stare at the stupid number two barely
taped above the doorbell. I tug around, pulling out my keys hanging
from around my neck. Shoving the keys in, I always daydream about
living somewhere else, turning the keys takes me someplace else. I'm in
Texas, yeah, I'd be the only one without a southern accent, I'd be the yankee girl, it would be
great.
For a second there I thought the door opened. Uh, no. Access denied. My head bumps against the door from slumping over.
What the heck?
Someone
locked the fierce lock, the Muscle dude lock! This is madness! Who's
visiting?! My grandmother hates it when her visitors see me. Can we
blame her? She's the kind of old
people who like small things, little babies, and teens who don't talk
back to her.
I don't care. I'm tired. I'm going in. |
| |
| School is such a drag.
But I must admit, high school feels so much easier than my middle school years. I don't know why.
I didn't know anything about having a social life then. Now I know to just stay quiet. No one will bug ya if you're not in their way. Let people come to you if they're so interested.
I make better friends with the teachers than the students.
Teachers don't care if your jokes aren't funny, teachers don't care who you used to be friends with.
Teachers will lend you pencils if you ask nicely.
|
| |
| I'm not sure if anyone in my subscriptions list still remembers disappearing Michi. It matters not!
I'm still here, around.
Not much has happened since... two months ago. I got my hair highlighted. O:
-cough-
Anyone miss me! O:
--
Me and my mom were talking.
"We'll go to the museum! Just you n' me!"
Oh God. My stomach churns at the thought. A dry leaf flutters onto my hair.
Yeah... I'm not really favoring that idea...
Because... "Just you n' me!" is a very ineffective team.
I don't want to hurt her feelings... or make her think I'm on drugs; so I answer.
"Okay."
"We don't need no little kid bothering us. And the museum's on a boat. He's too hyper. He'll fall off or somethin'.
So it's just u n' me. Just you and me."
"Alright."
You freaking crazy loon of a mother.
|
| |
| So okay.
One day there was a farmer guy. And he wanted to like, breed a cow and a bull. But they wouldnt budge. After weeks of this he decided to visit a specialist on these things. And he told the farmer that by sticking his hands into the cows vagina and putting the wetness onto the bulls nose they would mate.
Intrigued he goes and does what he told him.
To his awe it worked. They began mating. Excited and wanting to try it with his wife, he runs into her bedroom at night as she slept. He stuck his hands into her vagina, happy she was already moist, he rubbed her fluids all over his nose. In glee the farmer turned on the lights and jumped to his wife. "Wake up honey wake up look at me!" He jittered in excitement.
The wife got up in concern; "Oh! Honey! Your nose is bleeding!" |
| |
| They did. It was odd. I decided I just had to pull a prank call on these people. So i took my mother's cell phone and dialed away.
What I did was, I called one of these men, and said nothing, and quickly dialed another at the same time, soon they were talking to each other as I listened.
Two hello's at the same time and the most ridiculous conversation ever.
"Who is this?"
"No, who is this?"
"Why are you calling if you don't know who I am?"
"Man, I didn't call no dude."
"Obviously you did."
"Wrong number?"
"How the fuck is this a wrong number if i didn't call anyone?"
"I'm fucking confused. Who is this again?"
And then someone hung up. It was great. I urge everyone to give me their phone numbers to have more sources of amusement.
:D
|
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